Food is a relationship and as with all relationships, it takes a lot of time, patience and effort; no relationship comes without a sacrifice.
19 years ago, almost to the day, my relationship with food had broken down. Food became my enemy and I had no relationship at all. In many ways, it was actually killing me. I barely cooked, I ate out every week, I had a takeaway every week and anything in between was highly processed, calorie laden food. Fruit and veg barely appeared week on week.
How on earth had this happened? I was a 20 something, young, reasonably successful young woman and yet I knew nothing about the food I was putting into my body every single day. I was also at least a stone overweight, plus I was drinking excessively. The picture wasn’t good.
As a result of this, my health was suffering terribly. I was very depressed, I had poor toilet habits and I was rapidly turning from being successful at my job to unsuccessful; it was maybe my diet that was triggering all of this, who knows?
Then one day, my life changed and as a result so did my relationship with food. It’s very apparent now that everything in life comes back to food…, well I think it does. I chose to leave my job and I chose to start relearning to appreciate, love and value every single mouthful of food.
How did I do it? I stepped into the kitchen and began to cook fresh, wholesome food; my eyes were suddenly opened and I started to see what I had never seen before. It was so obvious, why hadn’t I seen it before. I’d shop at a farm shop and simply adore the sight of fresh carrots, leeks, cauliflowers, the ripe, rosy apples, the oranges, all of it. It was truly a breath of fresh air. I felt an excitement about something that I’d never felt before. The crazy thing is, I still do. I’m am literally like the child in the sweet shop, except I’m the girl in the farm shop!
What’s utterly amazing is that in all these years, I have never, ever stopped loving fresh, homemade food. It’s the driving force that brightens me every single day.
By stepping into the kitchen, I immediately lost weight. I didn’t go on a diet. I didn’t need to. I started to look after myself and in turn, my body started to look after me. I detest the word, the concept, the whole money making rubbish surrounding ‘diets’ – in my opinion, they are nonsense and they are a multi-million pound industry cleverly designed to trap the vulnerable. They lure people when they are at their lowest point and make them believe that hey have the magic cure; they don’t.
When you’re having a crisis, you want someone to turn around to you and say, it’s ok, I’ll fix it for you. In this situation, you’re incapable of being able to help yourself. You’ve got yourself so far into a hole that you’ve no idea how to get out of it. Losing weight is a perfect example of this; you’re at crisis point and you see that for only a small amount of money you can buy into a system that promises to fix it. You’re the one who can fix it!
Depending on others can be risky. I found when I was at the lowest point in my life, that the changes that happened in my life were purely down to my own decisions. If you make the decisions, then you feel 100% empowered and you’re in control.
This is where relearning to love the food you eat and making your own decisions will result in success for life. What do I mean, I hear you ask?Well, firstly, you have to be complete frank and honest with yourself and you have to make a decision that will be a decision for life. You MUST want to do this or it will NOT work. This first step sounds easy. But it is not and it’s the decision and promise most people fail on. It requires will power and many of us haven’t got this, have we?
Will power requires a single minded, focused, without compromise approach to dealing with something that is effectively ruining your life and making you unhappy. Will power doesn’t come in the form of a tablet, or a subscription; Will power comes from within and once you’ve got a grip of it, you will never want to let go.
Next, you have to take a look at the foods you’re eating. When I say that you need to relearn to love the food you eat, this doesn’t mean that you are overweight. You just might be eating the wrong things most of the time and the right things some of the time.
Begin by writing a list of everything you eat for a whole week. Highlight processed foods (meaning made in a factory), take away food, restaurant or cafe food. If this equates to more than 50% of your weekly food intake, then I would suggest you need to go on a food journey like no other.
It’s important that you remember, and keep remembering, this will not change overnight. That’s the beauty of this really. You’re going to learn a new skill, a bit like a hobby but it’s a hobby that you have to commit to every day of your life. This is what relearning to love means.
Now start cooking. Hopefully, you already are and if not, it may sound really daunting, but I promise it’s not. Use my ‘chunking’ approach and you’ll be out of the blocks before you know it. Chunk it takes the idea that one big problem can be broken down into small chunks. Ask yourself, what is the first thing I need to do to achieve something and move forward? That is a chunk. Slowly, one chunk after another, you will have tackled your problem head on and you are the one in control.
If stepping into the kitchen is something you can’t face, have a look at my blog post on saving food waste to help inspire you…
There are also loads of recipes, and more coming soon, here on my website. They are all aimed at those of you who want a fresh meal with the minimum amount of time and for very little cost. All my recipes tick both those boxes. I don’t believe in making things complicated and if you’re in a situation where you’re trying to relearn to love then the last you need is a complicated recipe. No way!
We have the ability to retrain the brain. We have the ability to look at old things in new ways and what I mean by that is we have to learn to love and appreciate that something we once perceived as being awful, is actually good. This doesn’t need to be extreme; I’m not asking you to fall in love with Brussels sprouts. What I’m asking you to do is look at food as your friend.
Each week you need to set yourself a new challenge, try a new food or cook something that you have never cooked or eaten before. Better still, do it with a friend or partner and learn to love something new together. A habit and routine will form and in no time you will be eating different foods without giving it a second thought.
When I started out, I veered towards Eastern type foods that appealed because of the beans or pulses. I cooked a chickpea curry or a lentil loaf. I made new types of sandwich fillings or I found healthy takes on deserts that weren’t laden with calories. I simply took the time to appreciate the food that was in front of me. I urge you do the same and you will probably surprise yourself. I know I did.
If you relate to any of this and want to make a change, then give your lifestyle a makeover; do the right thing for your body and your health by being honest. It costs nothing but I am living proof that you will never ever regret it. Life is a one way street to be lived, so let’s live it in the best possibly way we can.
Laura xx
